in loving memory

how long has it been, my friend?
since you spread your wings and flew
left me here in the noise and restlessness of my life
every night was silent and tearless without you

i haven't heard much about you after that day
the weeping hour i stopped my crazy addiction to you
pulled away unwilling, from what increasingly became my life and soul
i sunk into solitude, i hope you know

if you ever understood how empty my days lay in your absence
you'd see why i had to learn, why i needed to learn to be alone
i had to stop talking about you, going hot and cold about you
the more i found in you the less i held on to myself

and things would never have worked that way,
right? assure me baby...tell me you still know me
how you know every manner in which i function
if anyone should know the answer, it'll be you

in your eyes i fell beneath your great expectations
did you ever think a girl like me could possess so much love for you?
oh baby i didn't believe it either when i realized it
i cried for my own folly; you were always my weakness even in strength

but you stole my heart with yours, you really did
and the way you looked down on me, behind those prejudiced eyes i saw
in soft pools of lighthearted joy a waft of sadness
drifting by me as i fell into the deep crevices of your simple smile

i wonder if you were ever sad to leave me -
did you even know you had gone far far away?
that day i stopped hearing from you every waking moment
from my open hands you were set free from my world

you fluttered back to chasing the wind, didn't you?
riding on the swift currents of your destiny
and in all this, i wish you love and happiness
fulfillment, faith and the finest pieces of life

one day i hope you'll chance upon my message scrawled across the table
my name and yours, carved in past lives
a lopsided heart, in the same way you grinned
because i once tugged on your line, and i tugged hard

my friend, it's been a very long time
since i wished i could climb a ladder to plant a kiss upon your cheek
but for now i stay here firmly on the ground
and whilst you fly above, i sigh and stuff your picture into my pocket.