to the last breath i draw,and beyond

it is a funny,vulnerable feeling.
to see something awesome,but not have the urge to pick up your phone and message that person about it immediately.
to be bored out of your mind on a smothering afternoon,yet have no one readily in mind to call out.
to hear one of those feel good love songs playing in the background,but have absolutely no clue who you're supposed to think of.
to no longer be finding reasons and conversation topics to talk to that person about,possibly every second of the day.
to not exceed your message or call time limit,for the first time in years.
to sit on the bus alone and to really be,in every essence of the word,be alone.
to see other people being together and loving it,but no longer thinking,if only a miracle happened to me too.
to no longer know what i want.