I MUST WATCH..

1. Family Outing
2. Love Letter
3. X-Man
4. Manwon Happiness
5. More Infinity Challenge

2.5 more months of holidays only!!!!! i don't really have to work, i just gotta settle driving and CIP..............therefore, i quote MC Yoo:

GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the greatest thing you'll ever learn

freedom can be to die for,yet after a certain amount of enjoyment it all lapses into an unfortunate state of really pathetic.i don't know what to say for myself.summer is just slipping through my fingers,and all i can do is sleep for many many hours and once in a while wake up to think 'oh shit one more day is gone'.

i am doing nothing with my summer.except maybe watch alot of infinity challenge and occasionally go out with the bunch of never changing friends who do basically the same thing.which is either shop,eat,try to exercise,but mainly the most popular choice of sit-and-gossip.and some variation of that for every new outing.

or maybe it's just me.to me,everything i,or people in general, do is kinda useless.for some reason has no effect on me.maybe i'm just too occupied with making my summer count without having the slightest idea how it IS going to count.watching videos? no.hanging out with friends? somehow...no.being completely free? NO! i don't know!!! perhaps i wasn't even made for summers!!!!! i just can't handle them!!! i am most alive when DREAMING about summer.when i'm so busy with school i LONG for summer to come.but never when the dream is actually fulfilled!!! OMG!!!! i think i live for dreaming,but never for the reality of my dreams themselves.

to think my mother couldn't be more accurate when she said of me years ago...this child is a real dreamer.

nothing's changed except us.

it's pleasantly dramatic to think we cannot move on from the people we used to love.so beautifully,painfully romantic and the inspiration of all successful sad love songs.but because i'm 20,i think the real pain comes when you look into his face years later,hear him whisper her name,and realize he wasn't the only one who moved on.

we all can move on,unlike what they tell us.

but,thankfully,that's even more heartbreaking to know.

how long can i live this way

it's funny how loneliness just creeps up on you and reminds you that being alone has its repercussions, and loneliness just happens to be on the guest list. from living on high drama and emotional rollercoasters to slumming it out in the uneventful suburbian wasteland of predictability and never-ending free time... the life i thought i was finally going to have after term ended is quickly eroding as an all too simple facade for no-life. when you wander like a lost soul waiting to be found, everything that happens to you seems to bring you hope. too much work could serve as a useful distraction from being emotionally alone, yet too much work could also drive your fatigued mind to make a foolish escape into fantasy or worse still, paranoia. too little work on the other hand ironically does the same thing. work never killed anyone but neither does it seem to cure anyone either. honestly i'm just sick of sitting around hoping that i'll stop being what is essentially lonely. i'm also sick of not sitting around because i'm doing the exact same thing anyway. i've been living so much in my head these days i finally came to the conclusion that perhaps i'm just really tired of hanging out aimlessly in this place called me and would very much prefer to move to a location known very simply as someone else's heart.

although it seems like you never happened, i hope you do, again.