the battle within

"I see a picture in my head, of what the creature Denial has become. It's moving inside me, where my heart used to beat wild and free. It's scratching at the walls of my inner being, tearing what has not been torn, screaming in mad frenzy. How long can I pretend everything's okay? How many more days in people's eyes must I walk, and not crumple to the floor like a soldier surrendered - 'Yes yes, I am not whom I've chosen to believe I am, you see everything I wish I was not.' Not for long, perhaps. The illusion that I am strong enough, is dying."