this whole mugging wave has been giving me bouts of daydreaming,depression,finger twitching and an off and on sense of hopelessness.im am officially a mugger for common tests 2.i am waking up every morning earlier than i would like to,can't stop thinking about what i need to study next,look at the clock every few hours and panic because 1. i can't believe i have only studied for that amount of time and 2. i wish i had more time! my current amount of syllabus left to cover is immeasureable i don't even have a clear idea of how much more i have to go! likuang says, 18 more days as steph has just reported.i have barely completed anything!
i mean look at me! i'm like a nervous wreck.my left middle finger wldn stop having weird spasms and im not even lefthanded.im punctuating my sentences with exclamation marks.my mind keeps drifting to everyth other than focussing on how doomed i am if i don't concentrate ASAP.i suddenly realized,as a result of my drifting,that i don't have many days left with A14.the 2 years we were given is drawing rapidly to a dramatic close! and i can't believe im gg to sit here in my bloody red chair studying my bloody geog notes/tearing my hair out over maths,waiting in oblivious frustration over the A levels for the day of a14's separation to arrive.
God save me.so you think you can dance 2,maroon 5,longing looks at handphone waiting for someone to message me and remove me from whatever present moroseness,thinking of poetic lines,developing antisocial symptoms,nervous glancing at pile of work to be done....is not going to keep me alive very much longer.
i want to say "I've fought the good fight, I've finished the race." at the end of this all.
and i want to win that race.
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