a case of heroes.

going to sleep already,but cannot wait to watch episode 10 of the embarrassing WHY WHY LOVE tomorrow.what can i say,it's really cute and romantic!!exactly what i'm a sucker for.

slack is the new black.i seem to be very good at doing nothing at all.also hanging out with sam tmr,probably at siglap since he lives there,and i may want to eat the yongtaufoo again :P actually wanted to have lunch with ben,but both my brothers seem to be incredibly good at not being at home.besides that,i'm also too lazy to get out of the house otherwise.

i'm kinda incoherent now because my brain's gone stupid from all the WHY WHY LOVE nonsense,but i was really sad just now when the internet died.i don't know if i was being all dramatic again,thus i did try to control it and not like tell a million people about my supposed misery..but it did make me think and feel of a lot of things.supper with MJ last night reminded me that we have a head to think and a heart to feel,so we shouldn't keep trying to do neither in fear of being hurt or getting complicated.i'm a thinker,a feeler,an expresser.sometimes i guess being so intense does hurt the people around me.because whilst i'm good at flying into a dramatic whirlwind and quickly returning to normal,my family and friends can't take so many shocks and don't recover quite so quickly from my instability.i'm a hazard,really.

i can't and shouldn't complain about not having a hero to willingly come and listen to whatever i decide should burden my heart,but at the same time i'm not sure if such a person even exists besides God.my true hero who always saves the day.today when i was sad i thought about why i didn't have a hero,and felt very lonely,yet it wasn't so much a question of lament as it was a self-reflective thing.i don't actually want anyone to bother about me and my crap,i don't want to hurt any more people with my tempestuous behavior.i change my mind fast about relationships,i make harsh decisions about them,i have some really whacked out concepts about how to deal with them..MJ does marvel at the amount of philosophy i churn out about friendship.sigh.i need to feel in control when it comes to such unpredictable things.i don't like the feeling of being tossed to and fro wherever the tide may turn.i'm a fighter.

fighter.thinker.feeler.

it's best not to come too close.