who you are to me

i know i haven't been talking to you very much,or reading your letters.i go about my day thinking about alot of things,but i don't really think about you.i know i haven't been meeting up with you or our friends too often,and in fact i dread it quite a bit because you always arrange meetings so early in the morning when i want to just sleep in.we've had such a history together,sometimes i take you for granted knowing you'll always be there for me.all i have to do is call and ask.you'll do anything for me.i know i'm such a bad friend to you.talking to everyone else,assuming you know everything.assuming whatever i have to say is not of any importance to you.i neglect you,put you aside,let you do your own thing whilst i do mine.i message you once or twice a day,telling you i still love you,still need you.yet i never call to talk properly,never set aside time to prove that you mean anything to me.although you do.you are in the deepest corners of my mind,because no matter how busy i am,no matter how far i fall apart from you,what you did for me will never cease to be of such great magnitude.i'm not a fantastic friend i know.i ought to live eternally indebted to you.but i don't act as though i am alive only because of you.you are the sun that shines upon me,the rain that cools my day,the unfailing friend who waits for me day and night.your love is beautiful,unconditional and amazing.you never give up on me,and even though i treat you like you're dispensable you still answer my calls when i'm desperate or miserable.you embrace me for who i am in everlasting love even if all i deserve is a slap across my face for my insolence and disrespect for you.the others will tell you not to take me back for all that i have done that speaks contempt of you,but you silence them,reaching out a hand to me and asking me to come.to put all my hurts and wrongs down and find forgiveness,to leave the life i regret behind and just come back home to you.in you i will find my rest,my peace,and all the love that i have been looking for.then everything i've been questioning will make sense.everything i've wanted to know,you will tell me,and i will finally listen and hear your still small voice.