don't speak.

am utterly exhausted.no more ltb journal! just have to finish the CSP portfolio thing tomorrow,edit acad writing essay,and i'm FREE to mug!

was also getting a bit miffed talking about certain things with TC.the same feelings of indignation and anger at predestination welling up inside.i don't think i trust God very much these days.i'm evidently not showing any trust,for starters.i can't find that peace in me to say,i trust God knows what i desire.or at least i can't say it without suspecting he may have some sort of funny plan that makes me change my mind about certain things and end up accepting stuff i really do not desire.which sounds stupid and completely ungodly.but i can't help but think that he's capable of it.it's just scary to think about the possibilities.this is all TC's fault.which boils down to it being my fault.

argh.life is so full of shit! i'm like both happy and upset all at the same time.over different issues.ugh.stupid!stupid stupid stupid!!!

i am so full of shit too.hrrmpph.

i'm suddenly confused over what i want from life.besides to not remain as the pathetic loser i am now.

you really ought to hear about what my REAL life is all about.when i remove all the glamour from daily rantings,i'm a fool.a fool with some very idiotic acquaintances and circumstances.

i roll my eyes at everything lame.